* It's up to WHO?

It's true!  It is ALL up to me.  When I saw this sign, it gave me a firm elbow in the ribs.  "Get on with it!"  "What is it you want?"  "Figure it out and DO IT!"

Oh, I realize no body is coming.  I am here on my own so to speak.  Yes, there are people on this earth who love me and will do all they can for me ... HOWEVER .... it ALL has to come from within.  No one else can dig it up and spit it out for me.  No one is going to dump a shovel full in front of me and say "There you go Donna .... this is what you want .... this is what you must do in order to be fulfilled.  Do this, and this, and this .... then you will feel complete, fulfilled and fantastically satisfied.  There it is Donna, right in front of you.  Get on with it!"  Not that easy, I'm afraid.  Not for me at least.

So what exactly is this rumbling ... this deep volcanic action inside me?  I can hear it.  I can feel it.  There is a burning deep down in my gut. It's hot.  It's uncomfortable.  How do I coax it out?  How do I woo the rumbling and bubbling to the surface?  How do I implore it to come out from their depths, naked and bursting forth with clarity?

Besides, I'm sixty-something.  Am I not supposed to be 'winding down'?  Putting my feet up on the porch, a sittin' and a rockin' and a rockin' and a sittin'?  Oh, that's right .. sixty-something is the new forty-something.  If that is in fact the case, I had better hurry up and deal with this, because I'm sure that eighty-something is not the new sixty-something!  Age has to catch up with me at some point.

I'm bewitched, bothered and bewildered ... let's throw in confused as well.  And, no, unfortunately it is not 'affairs of the heart'.   Just when I thought everything was coming together.  All the pieces of the puzzle seemed to be falling from the sky, producing this 'pretty little picture'.  NOT!  There is more!

And so .... as the heat of the day subsides in San Miguel ... as the shadows become long ... as the sun lowers itself in the sky ... I will keep on soul searching.  I will continue to ask the Universe to show me, to guide me, to allow me to experience life to the fullest.  To meet my potential, to birth whatever this is inside me.  I will keep putting one foot in front of the other.  I will continue to listen to the bird song, see the morning light, watch the sun reappear over the distant mountains and taste that first sip of fresh coffee.  I will continue to count my graces.  I will continue to ask 'where do I begin, show me my next step."

This evening, we (Sylvia and I), sat in the shade at her beautiful mosaic table and enjoyed tapas and a drink.  Looking out over the hills of San Miguel, simply watching the light change is breath taking.

"Everything that has ever been lived, everything that has ever been written down or documented, has been vibration first. Everything has been conjured in vibration first before it manifests. So if something has manifested and you continue to give it your attention, the fact that it is true should really hold no weight with you. The question that we would ask is not, is it true, or is it undeniable? The question that we would ask is, how does it make me feel when I focus upon it? And if the answer to the question is, it doesn't make me feel very good when I focus upon it, then we would say, true or not, it does not serve you. And if you will activate a different part of your vibration--the "truth" will shift."
--- Abraham

OK, it's official .....

I'm bored.  I'm restless.  It's this blog.  I still love blogging, but something needs to have a shake up here.  Don't know what it is yet.  However, something is brewing.  Needs what?  More creativity?  A new look?  New colours?  New design?  New content?  New title?  When I began 'Flying Solo' in November of 2009, I was still scared spitless.  I was still taking baby steps, moving forward slowly and carefully, pushing myself out of my comfort zone little by little.  Now I want to take flying leaps, jump off cliffs, see if my new wings can really carry me.  Oh, I know I've found out a lot about my wings -- however, there is more.  That volcanic feeling is afoot again .... like the old fire is beginning to rumble deep inside.  What is this all about?  Don't know yet!

Today, Moses, (not his real name ... they call him that because his work is so highly respected many people think he walks on water), picked me up.  He delivered my door table and my armoir.  I had seen a cast wrought iron table and chairs about a week ago sitting on someones patio for sale.  Today I went back and it was still there.  I made a low ball offer.  They wanted $269.00 for it.  I offered $153.84 to be exact.  After a little bargaining and pretending to walk away, the price was agreed upon and I got my bargain.  It will be nice on the outdoor terrace which is not covered.

The bed was supposed to be delivered today.  When I left, it still was not there.  Same with the washing machine.  The workmen were still there --- so perhaps I will be surprised tomorrow.

Tiling is coming along in the bathroom nicely.  The stove and fridge should be here and installed in the next couple of days.  Everything just might be hooked up and ready to go by the weekend.  We had to 'borrow' electricity from the neighbours.  It may be another month before all the paperwork is completed to get 'official' electricity.  This is the way it works.  I give my neighbours a little 'good faith' money.  They in turn allow me to hook up to there house and have electricity in my house.  I pay their power bill until I get my own power.  How do you like that?  Not something we would be doing in the great white north.  I love it!

Photos of my new 'stuff'.

Not a good photo of my little kitchen table.  I will take a better one later.  The outdoor furniture needs a coat of paint. Don't know what colour yet.  I like the fact there is one chair which is different.  That will be 'my' chair ... the 'Queens' chair.  I will have some nice cushions made ... and 'Bob's your Uncle'.  (Well, not really.  Bob is actually my nieces husband.  I told you I feel odd tonight!)

My new Armoire.  No, the reflection in the mirror does not come with it.  I am going to have to be very selective about my cloths.  A challenge!

"We were taught in this society that we must have ownership of so much. But this has just caused clutter in our lives and this is a reflection of our spiritual clutter. Just give your unnecessary stuff away...Life is chaotic only if we allow it to be. And you don’t want to be so attached to objects that those objects begin to define you.

“Check yourself,” he said. “What drives you? When do you feel the most alive? Those are the things you should do.” ~ Jared Anderson

 "Small rooms or dwellings discipline the mind, large ones weaken it." – Leonardo Da Vinci

Well, I think Leonardo could have something there and I think I am about to find out!