* Men at Work

I've discovered a new thing about myself.  I LIKE watching men at work!  Being in mi casa makes the viewing different. Much more pleasurable.  A 'ring side seat' so to speak.  Oh, when I used to 'drop in' every day, I did appreciate how hard these skilled men worked, however, I never really stopped and had a really good looong look.  A 'lookie loo' as they say.  An enjoyable moment.  A moment of awe when I realized work like this no longer exists to any great extent in our modernized world of the North Americas.  The human body has been replaced by the machine.  Such a shame.  I believe our bodies were designed to function in these ways.  Some of these men are no longer 'kids'.  Some are mature, full grown, perhaps grandfathers.  Their bodies still in top notch shape.  Ready to do hard labour.  There is something absolutely fascinatingly wonderful about the human body.  The way we are put together.  The way a small shift of a limb cushions the blow of a huge pale of cement being hoisted on to a shoulder.  The muscles which are used.  Sheer strength.  Yes, I had a lovely day.  I have found a new passion.  Watching Men At Work.

Playing "Catch the Brick"

View from the roof terrace.

Now, this Senor works all day, as hard as anyone.  He is not young.  Observe how his body has shifted into place to hoist that five gallon pail of cement pieces on to his shoulders.  Amazing.  I can feel it.

This is Lupi.  Lupi is a Mistro (a master).  Lupi fascinates me.  There is something about him which is different.  Probably in his late 40's early 50's, Lupi is in charge in a charming way.  He's always the last one to leave, making sure the work site is clean and neat.  He's the one at the rain barrel, washing up and changing his cloths.  Yes, he goes home looking very handsome in clean clothes with his hands and face shining clean.  An interesting study.

OK, I said these men could work.  They do.  I must say, these men also know how to relax.  Do they not look at peace?  I think so.  I've come to conclusion it's all about BALANCE.  Work hard, Play hard, and on the weekend PARTY!  This neighbourhood rocks on the weekends.  Music everywhere.  NOISE.  Maria was telling me when she works for people who live in the Americano sections of town it's very QUIET.    I am coming to a different conclusion about life.  A new equation for me to practice in my daily life.  From observing another culture who seem pretty happy to me.

Work hard + Play hard + Party hard  =  BALANCE.

"On the tightrope of life, only one thing allows us to move forward, and that one thing is balance. Without balance we fall into chaos, we fall behind, we miss out on what true choices we have in life.
Balance is achieved through awareness. Awareness of what we have on our plate. What is working and what is not. What feels good and what doesn't. Where we are and where we want to be. With awareness, we have choice, the freedom to choose, free will. It is choice that gives us power. Power to choose. Power which is energy. Energy that allows us to move forward in alignment with our choices. We all want to live a full life, and the key to living a full life is finding the balance. "

Laura Kangas

* It's Five O'Clock Somewhere ...

In fact, it's almost Five O'clock here.  It's HOT, HOT, HOT.  I just got home from a 'big shop' at two of the big American type stores to stock up on household needs.  Gosh, it is expensive to set up house, isn't it!  Almost forgot about that.

So, as I was saying ... It's HOT.  I bought myself two bottles of beer - "Hofbrau Original" - the real Munich stuff.  I'm not a beer fan - however, on a hot and tiring day, it seems to be hitting the spot.  No bottle opener as yet so with the assistance of a pair of wire cutters the top came off quite nicely.   Brings some pretty good memories back as well of those young and foolish days in Munich drinking from huge mugs surrounded by friends.  I've had some good times in my lifetime.

A better day today.  Feeling a little more settled and balanced.  Spent the day 'hunting and gathering'.  Some plastic storage towers to store my art supplies in.  That means I can begin to unpack my boxes.  A toaster oven.  Decided I'm not having a micro wave.  I hardly ever use it anyway.  My 'beanie bag' being the most important item I ever heat up.  Reverting to a hot water bottle when needed to aches and pains.

The house and yard are 'getting there'.  Seems to be so many little things to finish up.  It will be done ... patience is a good thing to practice.  This week the workers will continue in the yard.  The outdoor terrace is nearly finished.  A drainage ditch at the back of the property will be dug and put in place this week.  Heavy rains could cause flooding in the neighbours property which I would be legally responsible for.  They continue to pick axe the cement from the yard.  The rubble pile is almost gone.  The terrace awaits her railing.  Plastering of the bodega (storage) area under the terrace is finished.  The hand painted tiles I collected are sunken into the plaster by the door.  They mostly refer to the Sun and Moon .... thought it related to "de Luz".

In the meantime, I am feeling some turmoil.  To be expected.  This is a huge time of transition and movement forward in my life.  I would like a mentor at the moment.  What I do know is the importance of consciously practicing balance in this moment.  Checking in on a regular basis with Spirit and asking what is needed in the here and now.  The first thing which comes to mind, even as I sit here doing my blog, is CREATING.  I need my art and my writing.  It is so comforting to allow it to flow out onto paper.  That's a good answer and a good beginning.  This week, even though workers will be here, and it may not be that convenient, I will do something toward art and writing.  Toward creating.  Toward the releasing all the pent up emotion inside.

What do I need to remember at this moment?  What is important?

   Habib's second day at Quinta de Luz.  He's feeling better as well.

Don't you love the fireplace chimney?  I'm going to paint it blue with lime green trim.

Outdoor terrace and bodega.  Even though I have to 'bend over', there is quite a bit of room for storage.  I am pleased.

Tiles by the door of the bodega.

The rubble almost gone.  They are now chipping away at the cement.

This is Maria.  Maria is going to help me keep my house clean and neat!  Oh how I need that.  

"Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and write and sing and dance and play and work every day some."  Robert Fulghum

That about sums it up for me.  Sounds easy doesn't it!

* Adios, and Muchos Gracias Miss Sylvia

Time to say ... Goodbye! 

A two day 'emergency' stay with Sylvia has turned into almost two months!  Yesterday evening, Habibi and I moved.  Luis came with his 'pick me up' truck - 

We arrived at Quinta de Luz shortly before all the workers left.  After the last person had gone home, it was almost dark.  I turned on the lights and the fans.  Opening the doors a gentle breeze began to drift through.  It was raining.

I felt stunned!  I have been living in the 'present moment', and finding myself alone at de Luz seemed somewhat shocking.  For the first time since I arrived in SMA on January 3, 2010, I thought to myself, "CRAP!  What have I done!"  I felt like crying.  I didn't.  Tears would not come.  When I thought back in my life, I saw the young woman I once was standing alone in the dorm room of a private school, after her parents had driven away.  She felt stunned.  She thought to herself, "CRAP!  What have I done?"  She wanted to cry.  She didn't.

Quinta de Luz felt strange last night.  It felt cramped.  I wondered how I would ever live in such a small space.  I wondered "What the hell was I thinking?"  Slowly, slowly, I moved about the space, observing the manifestation of my dream.  Was this really what I wanted?  I wandered aimlessly, gazing up at the high courtyard walls I have built to protect myself.  Glass shards now protrude from the top.  Not easy to climb over or walk on.  I took Habibi up to the roof terrace.  The light was focused and shone it's exquisite light over the mountains.  Sun shining through thick cloud - one thick shaft of light on the highest part of the hills.  I breathed a little easier.  

The view calmed me and we negotiated the stairs to the main room.  I located my fresh laundered sheets, cut the plastic off the mattress and made the bed.  Habibi snooped and sniffed every box, every tub and every corner.

We finally drifted off to sleep, all be it a somewhat stop and start sort of event, and awoke this morning looking forward to my first cup of coffee in Quinta de Luz.

Haven't yet located my tea kettle or the two china cups I allotted myself.  It was a great cup of coffee none the less.

No woman but feels more of a woman in the world if she have but a bit of ground that she can call her own.  However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property.  ~Charles Dudley Warner

* "Want what you have" ... some thoughts

Want What You Have - Chapter 2, a recent post over at Pattys' Nomadic Journal, got me thinking.  My earthly goods have dwindled to a mere fourteen small boxes.  (By the way, the big box is NOT mine ... it's the water heater!)  Very nearly everything I once owned, cherished, and might I add, was very attached to, is gone.  When I began to downsize seven years ago after both my parents had departed, everything seemed so very very important.  I wanted to keep it all.  Each piece I touched, everything I picked up had a memory or some deep meaning.  It was difficult.  I transported half of their treasures with me to Vancouver Island.  What would not fit into my large home was put into storage.  Three years ago, I downsized the large 3,000 sq. ft.  house and moved to an 1100 sq. ft. home in Victoria.  Doing so was easier.  Things didn't seem quite so important.  The attachment was easing.  I was gaining a new perspective.  "It's only stuff', was my prevailing thought.  "I will not be able to take one tiny drop of all these belongings with me in the end .... so really, what's it all about?"  I pondered this and over time all my earthly goods diminished in their importance.

As time passed, it was interesting to see what rose to the top of the barrel, so to speak.  What was really important to me?  In the end, it was my collection of artist materials, my art, some good music, candles of all things, (I adore candle light), my good Royal Crown Derby dishes (my 21st birthday present) and family silver which emerged from the china cabinet for every day use.  I began to realize the 'important' things which were saved for 'good' or for special celebrations must become part of my every day life.  I began the ritual of preparing myself a wonderful healthy evening meal, setting the table in a formal fashion which I adore, lighting the candles, putting on some fabulous  music ... and voila ... I developed a new love and respect for myself and the pure joy of an evening meal alone.  I began taking care of myself.  That horrible lonely feeling which prevailed in my gut on a constant basis, began to, ever so slowly slowly disappear.

Last summer I tackled the storage locker.  It was stacked to the rafters.  What did I learn?  After five years in storage, your treasures turn to junk.  "What was I thinking?" constantly came to mind as I dug through boxes.  Not much from that locker remains with me today.

Leaving for Mexico, I pared down even more.  I walked away from most of it.  It just wasn't important any more.  What did I bring with me?  Some precious art materials, my writing and my journals, my art and a few cloths.  Oh, and my good dishes and the family silver.  They seem to be symbolic and I adore them. That's really about it.

Want what I have?  Yes, I do.  Will I ever gather as much 'stuff' close to me again?  Not in your life.  I'm 'flying solo traveling light".  Yes, I will make myself a comfortable home.  Yes, I will adore collecting things which make my heart sing while I make my home a haven.  I have criteria now, however.  1.  I have to love it.  2.  I have to love it.  3.  I have to love it.  If I don't love it,  if it does not make my heart sing and my feet dance, it doesn't come home with me.

What has this all taught me?  Surrender and Acceptance.  These two are big lessons for me.  When I surrender and accept I find peace.  I didn't need all that 'stuff'.  It was weighing me down.  It was heavy.  I wasn't aware of that until I began to let it go.  Somehow, without all those belongings, a clearer picture of myself and who I really am has emerged.  I am not my 'stuff'.  There is no relation.  I love myself more just the way I am.  I'm not 'longing' for more.  (Well, most of the time anyway.)  I definitely find more contentment than I used to.  It's freedom.  Freedom from responsibility of the caring and demanding nature of all these earthly goods.  I have stopped identifying "myself and my stuff' as one in the same.  I know I'm a separate entity, a free spirit, a good and decent soul, just the way I am.  In every way, good enough, just the way I am. Do I ever doubt that?  Sure!  Do I want to move forward?  Do I have goals I want to achieve? Do I have creative dreams? Do I want to grow spiritually? YES, to all of the above. YES!  Of course I do.  I think that is an integral part of the human spirit.  I wouldn't want it any other way.  That's the spice and excitement of life.  Somehow, letting go of the great burden has allowed me to experience joy again.  True joy.  Nothing to do with the huge marketing machine which rolls over all of us on a daily basis.  Nothing to do with this consumer society we have created for ourselves.  Nothing to do with societies expectations. It's all about 'authenticity'.  (My word for the year.)  It's about my passions and finding them again.  I feel well on my way.  Yes, I still have fears to push through.  Now I know I can do it.  Now I know I WILL do it.  (Wow, did I actually just say "I WILL do it"?  That statement alone is kind of scary!)

I also know so much of my 'fear' left during the process of letting go of my 'stuff'.  That's a tough one to explain, but as I moved through the downsizing process and moved forward with my life, fear of many things abated.  I was able to push myself out of my comfort zones into places I had not been for years.

It has been a process.  A slow and wonderful process.  I am still emerging.

Is it ever perfect, Patty?  Will we ever be completely and utterly content with 'what we have'?  I've come to the conclusion the work on this journey is never finished.  It will always be there for us.  It will keep us going.  It will awaken our passions again and again.  It will scare us spitless.  It will pull us, kicking and screaming forward.  We chose that when we came here.  I feel privileged.

This has been such an interesting exercise for me, Patty.  I had not thought it through.  Much has surfaced for me.  Thank you!

Bertrand Russell

It is preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else, that prevents us from living freely and nobly.

Thomas Arnold Bennett

You wake up in the morning, and your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life. It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. No one can take it from you. And no one receives either more or less than you receive.

Albert Einstein

The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth. The trite subjects of human efforts, possessions, outward success, luxury have always seemed to me contemptible.

I'm not sure I agree with Albert so far as "contemptible" goes.  Interesting thought process though.  Ponder, ponder.

* Dawn in San Miguel

I climb the stone steps, still warm with the heat of yesterday.  Opening the door to the roof terrace, Habibi and I emerge into the coolness of a desert morning.  Just before dawn.  The Moon hangs high in the sky, waiting for her partner the Sun.  I lift Habibi into my arms and sit comfortably in a wrought iron chair.  I lift a cup of freshly brewed coffee to my lips.  The day is about to begin.

 The cupolas across the street begin to reveal themselves.

The first light of the day creeps toward the horizon.

A chill comes over me as the light begins to change.  The cool night air lingers, still caressing my skin.  This time of day is special.

Habibi snuggles closer into my neck.  It's comforting.

I sit in silence and awe as the sky changes.

 Here she comes!

AHHHhhhhh.

 "We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness."

"The grand show is eternal.  It is always sunrise somewhere; the dew is never dried all at once; a shower is forever falling' vapor is ever rising.  Eternal sunrise, eternal dawn and gloaming, on sea and continents and islands, each in its turn, as the round earth rolls."