Time to say ... Goodbye!
A two day 'emergency' stay with Sylvia has turned into almost two months! Yesterday evening, Habibi and I moved. Luis came with his 'pick me up' truck -
We arrived at Quinta de Luz shortly before all the workers left. After the last person had gone home, it was almost dark. I turned on the lights and the fans. Opening the doors a gentle breeze began to drift through. It was raining.
I felt stunned! I have been living in the 'present moment', and finding myself alone at de Luz seemed somewhat shocking. For the first time since I arrived in SMA on January 3, 2010, I thought to myself, "CRAP! What have I done!" I felt like crying. I didn't. Tears would not come. When I thought back in my life, I saw the young woman I once was standing alone in the dorm room of a private school, after her parents had driven away. She felt stunned. She thought to herself, "CRAP! What have I done?" She wanted to cry. She didn't.
I felt stunned! I have been living in the 'present moment', and finding myself alone at de Luz seemed somewhat shocking. For the first time since I arrived in SMA on January 3, 2010, I thought to myself, "CRAP! What have I done!" I felt like crying. I didn't. Tears would not come. When I thought back in my life, I saw the young woman I once was standing alone in the dorm room of a private school, after her parents had driven away. She felt stunned. She thought to herself, "CRAP! What have I done?" She wanted to cry. She didn't.
Quinta de Luz felt strange last night. It felt cramped. I wondered how I would ever live in such a small space. I wondered "What the hell was I thinking?" Slowly, slowly, I moved about the space, observing the manifestation of my dream. Was this really what I wanted? I wandered aimlessly, gazing up at the high courtyard walls I have built to protect myself. Glass shards now protrude from the top. Not easy to climb over or walk on. I took Habibi up to the roof terrace. The light was focused and shone it's exquisite light over the mountains. Sun shining through thick cloud - one thick shaft of light on the highest part of the hills. I breathed a little easier.
The view calmed me and we negotiated the stairs to the main room. I located my fresh laundered sheets, cut the plastic off the mattress and made the bed. Habibi snooped and sniffed every box, every tub and every corner.
We finally drifted off to sleep, all be it a somewhat stop and start sort of event, and awoke this morning looking forward to my first cup of coffee in Quinta de Luz.
Haven't yet located my tea kettle or the two china cups I allotted myself. It was a great cup of coffee none the less.
No woman but feels more of a woman in the world if she have but a bit of ground that she can call her own. However small it is on the surface, it is four thousand miles deep; and that is a very handsome property. ~Charles Dudley Warner
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